


When I Look at You

by emsuzz2012



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Skye has powers, Strong Language, The Playground, Ward's in custody, dark S.H.I.E.L.D., who's the real enemy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2014-07-18
Packaged: 2018-02-09 08:50:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1976655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emsuzz2012/pseuds/emsuzz2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, a look is all it takes.<br/>rated for language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When I Look at You

**Author's Note:**

> This is alternate universe also, and instead of dark skyeward, it’s got dark S.H.I.E.L.D.? It starts after the end of season 1--contains strong language
> 
> When I Look at You – Miley Cyrus (the only time I will EVER use a miley cyrus song)
> 
> I did not proof it before I posted, I'll do it tomorrow, this thing took me forever as it is lol

Skye sat down in her bunk once they got to the Playground.  To say she was exhausted was an understatement on both physical and emotional counts. 

She let herself fall backwards onto the extra-long twin size bed keeping her knees hanging over the edge.  She stared up at the wash white ceiling thinking of everything that’s happened.

Garrett was dead.  _Grant_ was in custody downstairs.  Mike Peterson was out there but Ace was safe. Raina was the only one who was still out there. 

She shut her eyes tightly to push the thoughts out.

She didn’t want to think about her and her crazy floral dresses being out there with a sample of _her_ blood.

Grant’s words had been haunting her.

_I’ve learned things about you Skye._

A tingle sensation nipped at the tips of her fingers.  She kept her hands above her as she watched them for a sign—any sign of something to explain the feeling. 

The strange sensation had started when she woke up in the med pod.  It was only a dull tingle so she chalked it up to be out cold for so long and the fact that it would come and go left her skeptical.  Things were starting to heat up with the Hydra and Clairvoyant issue, and then Grant had to go and shoot Thomas Nash. Skye had already felt uneasy at being forced to stay in the van and, even though Fitz was with her, she knew it was different than any other time she’d been nervous.

The sensations and feelings only seemed to get more intense as time went on and the situation around her got worse, although it hit a certain peak after the attack on the Hub and Garrett was arrested.  That’s when she noticed her fingers. There were times she would feel the tingle and as she focused on whatever she was doing to get her mind off of it, the feeling got stronger. 

She didn’t dare tell Jemma in fear of being shoved back into the med pod. 

Skye was already slightly frustrated with the doctor and if she hadn’t just got lifted out of the ocean from certain doom Skye would have already confronted her about it. 

She had been wary of the team’s actions after she woke up, and if the amount of blood Simmons took wasn’t a red flag they might as well take Skye’s level 1 badge back because it was so obvious they were _not_ being honest with her about it.

She’d figured out what they were doing when she was with Ward after leaving Providence.  She was looking at the hard drive and thinking about the files she saw as she encrypted it.  One of the files stood out the most.

“ **Skye’s Blood** ”

She didn’t know what she was more frustrated with.  The fact that Jemma, a friend, lied to her, or the fact that they now unwittingly gave Raina everything she needed to know about Skye and her 0-8-4 status. 

Skye continued to stare at her hands when the sensation traveled down to her hands.  By now she was used to it, however, not so much with the glowing orange coming from her fingertips.

_Well that’s new._

Entranced, she continued to watch as the glow traveled down her thing fingers to her hands and—

“Skye?”

She closed her hands into fists as she brought them down to her chest and raised up.

Jemma stood in the door looking at her curiously. 

“Everything okay?”

_No, far from it._

“Yeah Jem, fine, what’s up?”

She brought her clenched fists down to rest beside her thighs trying to move them so she was sitting on them without bringing attention to it.

Jemma walked a little more into the room and brought her left hand across her waist to the elbow of her right arm where she rubbed it slightly before gently grasping it.

“I-I just wanted to see if you wanted to talk…you know, about—“

Skye’s hand up in front of her caused Jemma to pause, “Simmons, no. I don’t want to talk about him okay? He’s a traitor—“

“He _saved_ us.”

Skye gave the doctor an incredulous look, “Are you _insane_?”

Jemma sighed and took a step towards Skye’s bed.

“Skye, listen Grant—“

“Simmons, Skye, briefing room. Now.”

Leave it to May to sneak up on them while they were having a touchy conversation.

In order to avoid the conversation farther Skye rose to her feet, making sure to immediately put her hands in her pockets, and began walking towards the door when she felt small hands grab her arm.

“Skye, just go see him…he’ll explain.”

She shook her arm out of the girls grasp and turned around without another word. There was no way in _hell_ she was going down there to talk to him.  She didn’t even want him _breathing_ her right now, let alone downstairs so close to her. 

She’d almost gave in to him once, again when she let her feelings for him cloud her judgment when Deathlo—Mike threatened his life, and almost gave up resistance when he came to stand in front of her, gun in hand, before she saw May out of the corner of her eye and taking her anger for him as an easy way out for Skye. 

She would not give him another chance.

She wasn’t entirely sure she would be able to prevent it…

There was no understanding of the matter either.  She was disgusted by him and the things he had done, wanting nothing more than to toss _him_ out of a plane to see how he liked it. But there was this feeling she couldn’t shake when he was near or she thought about him, even if it was of his betrayal.

She felt it when she kissed him in the janitor’s closet.  Something inside of her unlocked and the uneasy feelings she had been dealing with vanished.

She leaned over the room’s holo-table waiting for Coulson to start debriefing, tuning him out a third of the way into it.

The only thing that snapped her out of her thoughts was the increased volume with each “Skye”

She shook her head quickly, “Sorry AC! You were saying?”

He let out a small chuckle at her familiar antics, which she took as a good sign of not being in trouble, and repeated the statement.

“Why do you need more of my blood?” She looked between Jemma and Coulson with confusion etched on her face.  Coulson knew her status and obviously Jemma knew something was different about her. 

 “We’ll talk about it later.”

Because _that_ wasn’t cryptic or anything. 

She went through the rest of the meeting running over all the things it could be and before she knew it, Coulson and Jemma were the only ones left in the room.

“AC, what’s going—“

“I saw what you did to that guard at Cybertech.”

Her eyes went wide and she looked at Jemma and back to Coulson.  Was he really going to bring this up in front of her?

She had _tried_ to forget about it in general and thought she was the only one who saw what she did, making the excuse that she knocked him unconscious with her gun.

They were getting ready to rush the compound and a guard was standing in their way.  Skye was supposed to pose as a distraction as the team took various hiding places around the gate.  She had flirted with him a little and rested a hand on his arm, forgetting about the sensation in her fingers, only to release it quickly when he fell to the ground.

“Skye. You touched him, and he died…I checked his pulse after we split up.”

Skye remained quiet, but noticed her own defensive stance.  She still didn’t understand why they needed her blood.

“But, why do you—“

Jemma was the one to interrupt this time. “If your blood contains something that powerful, it could be a big help to the reorganization of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Coulson chimed in, “We could dispose of enemies a lot faster, speeding up the process of things.”

“We’d also like to run some tests with various situations so we can see how your,” she pointed a finger at Skye’s hands, “Whatever it is, works and what causes it to trigger.”

Red flashed in Skye’s vision at the nerve of the two to even ask such a thing.

“I’m not a lab rat!”

Coulson walked took a step towards her a hand extended to comfort her, “No, Skye. Of Course not.” Skye took a step away from him whether out of fear or caution she wasn’t sure. He dropped his hand to his side, “We just want to know—“

“No!”

“Skye, please think about this—“Jemma tried her luck at walking towards her and she backed away from her friend as well. 

“I _said_ , no.”

Her eyes flicked back and forth between the two of them waiting for them to say anything further as Coulson brought his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose. 

“Skye, I’m afr—“ he took a breath and brought his hand down gesturing towards her with an open palm, “I’m afraid you don’t have a choice.”

_Um what?_

“ _Excuse_ me? “ Her anger was in full swing now and could feel the energy crackle in her fingertips.

“Because last time I checked, I was a person, and my _blood_ ,” she pointed her finger at her chest, “belongs to me.”

Coulson began to walk towards the exit, turning to her again “We’ll give you some time to think about it.” He walked away with Jemma following timidly behind him without looking at Skye.

Skye let out a low growl of frustration.

_Are you kidding me!?_

She slammed her fists down on the table in front of her and immediately retracted them when the electricity in the room flickered and the monitors in the room all came to life. 

She looked at each screen in wonder before she noticed it looked like her hacking program on each of the monitors.  She took a step closer to one and looked at the screen carefully.

Shock went through her as she realized it was her hacking program.

The monitors went blank for a second before live camera feed showed up on them all, with the same camera apparently.

The one on Grant Wards room.

She held her hands to her chest and turned to run to her bunk.  Once inside she locked the door and rested her back on it trying to catch her breath.  She let her hands fall to her sides as she slowly slid down the door. 

The tears were flowing over her cheeks now but she didn’t care. 

The people who had said they would protect her no matter what, after everyone else’s betrayal, were apparently the ones she should have been running from this whole time.

 

* * *

 

Ward paced the length of his room.  It was bigger than what he had expected from them to serve as a prison, but figured if they had a choice he’d be in a cardboard box. 

His room looked just like the others on the base only the door contained a keypad on the outside that, to his knowledge, only Coulson had access to.

They allowed him weights and a box that held the two battleship game pieces. 

He rolled his eyes at the attempt to mock him.  He grew up with Garrett as his only mentor…they’d have to try a lot harder than that.

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard footsteps outside his room and he stopped his pacing so he could listen. 

They were lighter than Coulson’s meaning it was a female, and the sounds of the sniffles coming from outside his door now were too soft to be May.  He threw Jemma out of a fucking plane not 48 hours ago so he knew it wasn’t her who came to pay him a visit.

He walked towards the door and heard the dull thud as they leaned up against it, and then slid down to the floor.

The sniffling became clearer now, “Skye…”

It was a whisper but he knew she heard him when she let out a choked sob.  He knelt down and sat himself against the other side of the door leaning his head back onto it.

He was more than sure she hated him, but if she came to _him_ of all people upset, it had to be something pretty bad and he’d take whatever she’d give him.

There was maybe an inch of space between where the door ended and the floor, and he could see her shadow as he waited for her to say something.

He heard a couple more sniffs before a deep breath, “What do you know?”

_Oh great._

He knew without asking what she was talking about.  It was the only thing she of all people would be asking of him without the rest of the team present. 

He sighed, “I don’t know much Skye, just what Raina told me…” he scoffed, “and who knows how much of that was true.”

“What did she say Ward,” he heard a small whimper, “ _please_.”

There was no use keeping it a secret and he could deny her nothing, “She said….” How could he put this lightly? “She said your parents were monsters….who destroyed an entire village looking for a baby.”

He paused to see if she would respond before he closed his eyes and let his head loll to the side against the door, “She said that you and I could be monsters together.”

There was silence on the other side of the door and he looked down to see if her shadow was still there. Instead of her shadow, he saw her small manicured fingers sliding under the door until her hand could no longer move. 

He was shocked to say the least.  A visit _and_ an offer of physical contact, despite how small, in one day? So soon after everything?

His thoughts turned dark as he started to seriously wonder what could be wrong to have her acting this way and he silently vowed that if he ever got out, he’d make whatever it was causing her such pain pay. 

Grant may not have had Garrett anymore, but the minute Coulson asked him who he was now, Grant knew the answer.  He knew he’d follow Skye to the ends of the earth, and he would spend the rest of his life trying to make up for the pain he caused, even if it he did it without her knowing.

He looked down again and lifted his arm slowly bringing his own hand near hers.  He chose his moves carefully not wanting to scare her off when he brought his thumb to ghost along her knuckles. 

“Skye? What’s wrong?”

He heard her struggling to catch her breath.

“ _Everything._ ”

 

* * *

 

It had been two weeks since that night and Skye felt as if she was a trapped mouse waiting to be chosen next.  Sleep had become nonexistent for her as she feared more and more that they would take her blood in her sleep.  Whatever this was inside her, she didn’t want anyone finding out about it. For all she knew it could be dangerous and they would be unleashing something sinister into the world.

She felt ridiculously jumpy around the team as well and the sensations were present with every interaction with them.  It had grown in the past two weeks into something even more intense than before.  She felt the unease when she walked through the empty halls and felt the hot glow of her skin when she became scared that they might do something.

The only time she didn’t feel the overwhelming sensations, was when she went downstairs to see Grant.  _Grant_ of all people. She should hate him yet here she was curling up into a ball in front of his fucking door. 

Who knew the only person to give her comfort was the one person she had tried to get away from?

Wait a minute….that sounded way too familiar.  She had thought the same thing of the team when they had first asked her.  The team encouraged her hatred of Grant, except for Jemma who told her to talk to him….

Everything was becoming so confusing it was hard to keep up 

The team was now the bad side and Grant was the only person on hers.

_Life. What. The. Fuck._

She took note of the fact that she felt calm and at ease when she went down to Grant’s room.  Even if she wasn’t seeing his face he provided her with a sense of protection and she tried to think back to all the other times that she could remember where the same calm had come over her and came to the same conclusion.

Grant Ward had been involved in every instance that she could think of.  And of course there were the kisses.

When the nights became too much for her she’d take a blanket and go down just to sit at his door.  They wouldn’t even talk to the whole time; they just sat there being as close as they could be. 

She couldn’t help but thinking that since now that her own team seemed like the enemy, that perhaps the people of S.H.I.E.L.D. that Grant killed were enemies too?

Her mind was becoming so clouded these days that she struggled to hold on to whatever eased the pain inside of her. 

If that only thing was Grant Ward? So be it.

 

* * *

 

It was another week of exhausting nights before it hit a climax. 

“Skye,” She flinched as she heard Coulson’s voice behind her as she prepared herself a meal in the kitchen.  She knew that he was aware she had heard him but she continued to prepare her food in silence.

“You have one more day to think about it,” she heard him sigh, “I really don’t want to have to use force, just—Skye—just think about all the good you’d be doing.”

She finished preparing her food and jerked the plate off the counter and retreated to her room.

That night, she lay restless in her bed.  She decided that she needed to leave—to escape—but didn’t know where to start planning.  She let out a sigh of defeat as her plans flittered away from her.  She slowly lifted herself from the bed and walked down the long hallway towards the control center. 

She’d always stop there first to look at the constant live camera feed of Grant’s room to make sure he was even awake, even though she knew his nights were as restless as hers.

The hall was lined with panels of screens that would change from time to time based on the time of day.  Since it was the middle of the night, the high definition screen displayed that of their galaxy with stars twinkling in the darkness and large masses orbited by her. 

**_Everybody needs inspiration_ **

It was peaceful.

**_Everybody needs a song_ **

She ran her fingertips along the screen and sighed in content.  It was only at night that she found herself smiling these days, and it was usually when she found enjoyment in simple things such as this. 

**_A beautiful melody_ **

A shooting star traveled in front of her and she watched it carefully, a weak smile making its way onto her lips.

**_When the nights are long_ **

She was so tired.

**_'cause there is no guarantee_ **

S.H.I.E.L.D., Hydra, 0-8-4’s, Raina.

**_That this life is easy_ **

She’d fought so hard to get here and she was supposed to be happy. 

Tears welled up in her eyes at the thought of what this battle has cost, not just to her, but to everyone.

**_Yeah when my world is falling apart_ **

She let her hand drop and brought both her arms to wrap around her as she made her way towards the control center her hair flowing behind her as she practically broke out into a run.

**_When there's no light to break up the dark_ **

She brought the screens to life with a wave of her hand like she had been practicing in secret and focused on the man pacing.

**_That's when I, I_ **

She brought a chair over and sat down in front of the control panel and brought her feet up on the chair and leaned her head on her knees, hugging them tightly to her chest.

**_I look at you_ **

The wave of relief just from watching him was welcomed as she sighed and leaned back further into her chair.

**_When the waves are flooding the shore_ **

With the relief came the flood of tears as the resistance left her body

**_And I can't find my way home any more_ **

She felt normal again, like she did before everything got so fucked up.

**_That's when I, I_ **

She glanced at the screens again and dropped her feet back down to the floor and put her hands in her lap.

**_I look at you_ **

She knew if she ever did leave, she’d want—no--need him to come with her.

She sighed again as she stood up and began to make her way down to him.

**_When I look at you_ **

What was this thing they had? She knew both retained the feelings they had expressed back at Providence, but, so much has changed since then.

**_I see forgiveness_ **

After everything in the past few weeks with Coulson, she knew she’d already forgiven him for everything.  The line between the good and bad had been blurred and she no longer cared for right or wrong. 

She was a monster after all.

**_I see the truth_ **

She found herself in front of his door, but something felt different and she looked down at her hands.

She looked back up at the door in front of her serving as the last barrier keeping them apart.

**_You love me for who I am_ **

_‘She said we could be monsters together._ ’

She wondered if he still would want to be with her…be monsters together.

She felt energy crackle from her fingers and noticed how different it felt this time. It didn’t feel overwhelming she felt… _in control_ …she looked at the key pad and then back to her hand. 

**_Like the stars hold the moon_ **

She’d always said computer code had always come natural to her, and the episode in the briefing room weeks ago was definitely a tip off of something perhaps a lot bigger than what she thought.

Hesitantly, Skye extended her hand out towards the keypad and hovered above it for a second. She swallowed the lump in her throat and shut her eyes tightly pushing her glowing fingers onto the keypad.

**_Right there where they belong_ **

Numbers and letters ran in front of her closed eyes and jerked them back open with a gasp and she was vaguely aware of the door in front of her sliding open as she stared at her hand.

 “ _Skye_?”

The breathy whisper finally brought her attention to the fact of the door being open in front of her, and the man who was now turning his body to fully face her.

“ _Grant_.”

Her stride was quick as her thoughts cleared in order to focus on the one thing that mattered at the moment, reaching for him when she saw him walking towards her. 

**_And I know I’m not alone_ **

He bent his knees slightly as she neared him and when she finally was close enough he wrapped his strong arms around her waist and straightened up, lifting her off the ground smashing her chest to his.  Her fingers were in his hair jerking his head towards her so she could crash her lips to his.

**_Yeah when my world is falling apart_ **

One of her hands slid down to his jaw to run a thumb under his stubble, smiling into the kiss as he swung her around in a circle before placing her feet back onto the ground.

Being back on her feet resorted in their being a height difference and she ran both of her hands down the sculpted planes of his chest and wrapped them tightly around his waist, being their bodies flush together once more.

**_When there’s no light to break up the dark_ **

He brought his hands up to her face and brushed his knuckles over her cheeks as he pushed hair away from her face until they cupped the back of her neck to tilt her head better as he responded to the fervor of the kiss by moving his mouth over hers.

**_That’s when I, I_ **

Their kisses became frantic with the need to just make sure it was really happening, and not one of their dreams tormenting them.

He broke the kiss and slid his hands over her crown smoothing the hair down as he peppered her face with kisses.

**_I look at you_ **

She grabbed his wrists when he put his forehead to hers as he held her face in his hands rubbing his thumbs over her cheeks.

Her eyes were closed, content to just feel their breath mingling in between them as they panted for air.

**_When the waves are flooding the shore_ **

“Skye, how—“

She pulled away shaking her head, “I don’t know, I just—I thought how it was keeping us apart and—”

**_And I can’t find my way home any more_ **

He cut her off when brought her mouth back to his and her hands scrambled up his back to find something to hold onto.

She broke away from him again as she realized the opportunity at hand.

**_That’s when I, I_ **

She brought her hands from behind him and ran them up his chest and fisted his shirt as if trying to hold on.

**_I look at you_ **

One of his hands move to her shoulder while the other one remained holding her face running a thumb over her parted lips.

**_You appear just like a dream to me_ **

“Grant, we need to leave.”

**_Just like kaleidoscope colors that cover me,_ **

Panic filled his eyes as his hand stilled on her face and the grip on her shoulder tightened slightly, “Did they—“

**_All I need_ **

She shook her head furiously still breathless, “No, that’s why we need to leave, before they can.”

**_Every breath that I breathe_ **

He nodded in agreement and slid his hands down her arms to grasp her hands giving them a squeeze before pulling her towards the door, running towards the hangar that held the cars.

**_Don’t you know you’re beautiful?_ **

She knew she’d have to leave everything.  Going back up to get her belongings meant risking them getting caught and she wasn’t letting that happen. 

She couldn’t help but think this was all poetic in a way. 

Both of them breathless, in S.H.I.E.L.D. issue sleep wear, barefoot, running through the base hand in hand to break into a car and escape.

**_When the waves are flooding the shore_ **

He whipped her around in front of him when they reached one of the SUV’s pinning her to the side and claiming her lips once more.

Before breaking away and lowering his hands to her hips.

**_And I can’t find my way home any more_ **

“Are you sure? We can never look back.”

**_That’s when I, I_ **

She looked into his eyes as they radiated an emotion she wasn’t sure she could name.

**_I look at you_ **

She brought her hand up to his cheek and feeling tears fall down her face once more she nodded, “Yes. Yes, I am. I-“

**_I look at you_ **

There was the tingle again, but it was a warm welcoming feeling in her fingertips.

Staring at her hand she ghosted her glowing fingers across his cheeks, letting a smile appear on her own face when he pressed his lips to her fingers.

She felt something click then, and knew exactly what everything was. 

She nodded her head one last time and he opened the door to the SUV for her before running to the other side.

He made fast work hot wiring peeling out of the facility once she hacked the system with the LCD screen of the SUV.

They panted, breathless, from running and the adrenaline of it all. 

Her head hit the head rest and she let out a breath of air she didn’t know she had been holding.

No turning back now.

 

* * *

 

After a couple hours of driving in silence, Skye turned her head lazily to look at him as he had one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the gear shift between them.  He noticed her looking and turned his head to her to smile and moved his hand from the gearshift to grab hers and lace his fingers with hers.  He brought their hands up to his lips kissing her knuckles before letting them fall in his lap.

They were quiet as they drove.  She wasn’t sure if he knew where he was going—she didn’t even know where they were at to begin with—but she wasn’t worried about it.

He broke the silence without taking his eyes off the road. 

“I have safe houses. Six of them; All around the world, two here in the U.S.” He looked at her quickly before turning back to the road, “we can hide out in one here after we figure out where we are, and then make plans to get to the others.  I figure we should at least move every 2 or 3 months before settling somewhere. “

Skye hummed in reply and he let a chuckle escape him.

“Sleep, this kidnapping will be better I promise.”

She laughed at his joke as she rolled her head to look out the window as they passed tree after tree.  She smiled to herself, taking a deep breath and releasing it, “I love you.”

It didn’t require her looking at him to know his reaction, the tightened grip on her hand told her enough.

“You know you’re stuck with me now?” Another squeeze. “I’m not letting you go again.”

She shrugged her shoulders in reply and felt his abs move from where her hand was resting, as he let out a chuckle.

Finally turning her head back to him, she watched as he released his hold on her hand letting it drop into his lap as he took only her fingers in his hand kissing her knuckles like a prince bowing to his princess.

Her heart swelled with love as the tingling sensation returned to her fingertips and she realized it totally had to do with him, and she closed her eyes and sighed.

Opening her eyes back up, Skye looked over at Grant and then down to their hands as she watched his forefinger and thumb rub the knuckle of her ring finger.

Arching an eyebrow at him she let out a small laugh. “Something on your mind there Robot?”

She watched him smile as he kept his eyes on the road, and she felt his fingers still briefly before he lifted their hands up again holding on to her finger.

“Just thinking about how I guess I have to get something for this finger now.”

To say she was thrown off guard is an exaggeration.  Surprised at his forwardness, yes, but for some reason after the past 2 hours she really couldn’t see their future ending in anything else.  He was right.

They were stuck together.

She snuggled further into her seat and closed her eyes ready to take a nap.

“As long as it’s white gold or platinum, gold reminds of me old ladies.”

**_You appear just like a dream to me_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Well that was ridiculously long, and I’m sitting here looking at it and I’m like…that totally didn’t come out how I wanted it to. But I’ve spent hours on this thing so I might as well post it. 
> 
> That’s what I get for using Miley Cyrus.


End file.
